


Home

by Miss_Romance_Lover



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, heart to heart, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 15:14:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11557857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Romance_Lover/pseuds/Miss_Romance_Lover
Summary: After several months apart, Aaron has asked Robert over to talk. A heart to heart ensues.





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like it’s too late to hope for a twist over the baby’s paternity now, unless this storyline is one big bluff. But for the sake of this story, Robert is not the father. Mentions of mental illness, but it’s only vague because I don’t know enough to attempt a confident description. I just felt it necessary that Aaron’s health was addressed in some way. Anyway this is a fluffy reunion one-off (because all we can do right now is imagine a hundred different way in which they get back together, right?)

"Your text said you want to talk?" Robert broaches as Aaron steps aside to let him inside Mill. 

Aaron is watching him closely, trying to be subtle about it. He still loves the bones of this man; still wants him. That part of him had never faltered, it was just everything else that crumbled. 

"Yeah, I...thanks for coming. Sit down," he replies. Robert does so, a tentative smile on his face as Aaron takes his own seat in the armchair.

"Of course I came, Aaron."

"Well if you had given up on me by now, that would be fair enough. I've rejected you that many times over the past few months."

Robert sighs. "I get it now, though. You needed space and I should have understood."

"I had to walk away, Robert," Aaron explains. "I nearly...I nearly killed you that day and it was a serious wake up call."

"You weren't well. And with everything that was going on you were pushed too far."

Aaron shakes his head. "That's no excuse. Do you know how many people I've hurt over the years, I mean physically hurt whenever my problems blew up?" He starts counting on his fingers. "As well as that lad Kasim, it's been Paddy, Jackson, my mum...I've even taken it out on Adam. And then I did the same to you. I hate myself for that."

"Hey, I was fine. It's you who ended up in hospital again. Aaron, that scan photo--"

"Don't," Aaron cuts him off gently. They don't need to go into that. He had been there for Robert - albeit just as a friend - when it had come out that Ross was actually the father of Rebecca's baby. 

"Please Aaron, just let me say this. I know it was yet another lie and that's what ended things between us. I'm so sorry for everything, for hurting you so much that you turned on yourself again."

Robert looks pained. Aaron reaches across to him, puts a hand on his arm. "It wasn't the photo itself that got to me. It was what it represented. You spent all that time telling me the baby didn't matter; that you could move away without looking back. I never asked you to choose between me and your son - the baby we thought was your son," he amends. 

Robert looks away at that, only returning his gaze to the man's face when Aaron resumes talking. "So when I saw that scan I knew it mattered to you, and yeah, it hurt that you had lied again. I'd already tried to say it was over but when you said we could go away and start afresh I trusted you. I trusted that you were being honest with me." 

Aaron can feel himself on the verge of tears but he forces them back. He's still touching Robert, who notices his distress and takes hold of the man's hand on his arm. He gives it a gentle squeeze.

"I couldn't tell you that I was starting to think about the baby. You were still more important to me than it - he - ever was, even when I got more serious about being a dad. I knew if I told you that I cared even a little bit, you wouldn't agree to move away and then we'd be over."

With a sad smile, Aaron studies Robert's face and can see how their split has taken its toll on him. "We had to split up, Robert. I know it hurt you, and God it hurt me too, but we couldn't have carried on like that."

"I was so sure that if we stuck together, I could look after you and we'd get through it. But I wasn't helping you, was I?"

"I know you were trying to," Aaron replies softly. "But listen, we were in a bad way long before you slept with Rebecca, okay? I wasn't dealing with my issues properly. You were lying to me about stuff. Not always just to be secretive, I get that now. Sometimes you thought you were protecting me. But we were hurting each other, over and over again."

Robert doesn't let go of Aaron's hand, links their fingers together. "I've been telling lies my whole life. I should have realised how it would make you feel."

"And I should have told you what was going through my head a lot sooner, instead of taking it out on you and pushing you away all the time." 

"We're as bad as each other," Robert rolls his eyes, a hint of humour there. Aaron smiles. "Look at you now," the older man continues, the way Aaron's smile reaches his eyes these days is not lost on him. "You're so much better. Happier, healthier. Because you’ve been away from me.”

That’s the last thing Aaron is expecting. He suddenly realises that the one thing he hasn’t yet told him is actually what he should have opened with. “No,” he says firmly. “Robert, no. I’m doing better now because I’m on medication. It’s not all on you.”

“What? You…when did that happen? Why didn’t you tell me?” Robert has gone pale. 

“It’s been about a month. I’m sorry, I can see now that I should have said something sooner. You’ve never stopped worrying have you?”

“Of course I bloody haven’t! Aaron, there’s never a minute in my life when I’m not thinking about you. Especially when I’m not with you.”

The younger man takes a long breath, stands up and crosses the room. Robert’s eyes follow him in confusion until he sees Aaron picking up a couple of leaflets from the table. When he returns he sits down right next to him, nervously handing over the information.

Robert reads it over, not as thoroughly as he’s going to later; but enough right now to get an understanding of what Aaron is dealing with. What they will be dealing with, together if Aaron will let him back into his life properly.

It’s a mental health condition – elaborately named, but it’s something concrete at least. “You’ve been diagnosed?”

Aaron nods. “Please don’t get upset, okay? It’s a good thing. It’s actually a relief, to know what wrong with me.” 

“But you’ve been all on your own…” He’s trying to do what Aaron is asking of him, but it’s hard to fight back the emotion. 

“No, I haven’t. I mean yeah, I chose to see the doctor on my own with all this, but Paddy’s been around, and Adam. I’m not saying I didn’t want you there, but d’you know what I hated before?” He’s looking Robert in the eye again, needing to make something clear. “I hated that I relied on you too much, that I put all that pressure on you to be strong for me all the time. I never meant to do it, but it’s what happened, Robert. And as much as I needed to be on my own to sort myself out, I think you needed the time away from me too.”

“Do you really believe that?”

Aaron leans against Robert’s side. Robert tucks an arm around him, feeling calmed by the touch of this man he loves so much. “Yes,” Aaron replies. “You were looking after me more than you were looking after yourself. If I’m honest, I thought maybe…”

“What? Aaron, keep talking to me.”

“I thought, after a while when you were thinking more clearly, you could get over me. That you might think over what I did to you, how I attacked you and you’d see me for what I really am. Just a thug. Maybe even an abuser.” 

Aaron’s eyes are shut tight. He can’t open them, can’t look at him. Then he feels warm hands cupping his face; fingers brushing away his tears. Robert’s wedding ring – still there after all these months – brushes against his skin. A reminder that none of the things he’s voiced even entered the man’s head.

“You are neither of those things. You’re not. You’re my Aaron. My beautiful husband, remember?”

Aaron opens his eyes after all. “Rubbish,” he says, a half smile on his lips before it disappears quicker than it came. “I still did it though, didn’t I? I hurt you. My husband. The one person I love more than anything.”

Without letting go of him, Robert takes his turn to speak. “I once knocked you out and tied you to a radiator, then threatened to kill you. And for some reason you’ve never thrown that in my face since we got together properly. Not once. I’ve always been a liar and a cheat, and I couldn’t even change for you, when there’s never been anyone I’ve loved like I love you.”

They rest their foreheads together, letting the confessions sink in. Aaron is thinking over Robert’s words quite deeply, and when he blurts something out after several quiet minutes, Robert isn’t following. 

“It’s not the same.” 

“Hmm? What isn’t?”

“The cheating. That’s why I was ready to try and get past it at first. Because I knew you didn’t really want her over me.”

“I could never want anyone like I want you,” Robert sighs. “Aaron, if you ever thought about giving us another chance…I promise you, no one else. Ever. I know that’s what all cheaters say but honestly the thought of being with anyone else just makes me feel sick.”

Aaron nods, believes him. “And I promise you, I will never lay a hand on you like that again. I’ve been doing these sessions, not just the counselling but sort of an anger management thing too.”

“You have? Is it helping you?”

“Yeah. It took a few weeks but I do feel different. I’m starting to, anyway.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Robert smiles. “Actually, I wanted to tell you – I spoke to Vic and Diane. Told them about Dad.”

Aaron’s mouth drops open. “Robert, that must have been hard. What did they say?”

“Vic was upset. Diane looked horrified. She knew my dad had a temper, but she was still shocked. She said all this stuff about how I didn’t deserve it, how he should never have…but she said he did love me.”

“Of course he did,” Aaron says gently, sincerely. “Your dad made mistakes and he was so wrong to treat you like that, but not all mistakes are evil. You won’t forget it, but maybe you can let it go now that you’ve let it out properly.”

“Maybe. Aaron, are we gonna do this? Me and you?”

“I want to. Do you?”

“Is that a serious question?” Robert deadpans. Aaron laughs. 

“I don’t want to do secrets any more though, not from you. I should tell you something. It feels like it’s been years since it happened but, you know when I nearly got back on the drugs?” Robert is nodding, and Aaron looks sheepish. “It was that bloke from prison who turned up with the gear - the one who battered me. I didn’t know it was him when I arranged the meeting though.”

“Oh God…what did he do?”

“He was his usual homophobic self. Got a punch in, knocked me down and then there was this knife.”

“Aaron!” Robert lets out a gasp. Aaron squeezes his hand. 

“Hey. Still alive, aren’t I? This is why I didn’t say at the time. It was my own stupid fault. Ethan was here too, he was my cell mate. Went and got Cain and he scared him off – Jason.”

Robert shakes his head at him. “You know if you hadn’t already told me you’d got help, I’d be worried sick all over again. What if he’d come back?”

“I thought he might, when I threw the drugs away and he still hadn’t been paid. I got the feeling Cain did something though, put the frighteners on him or something. Apparently he knew Jason’s dad years ago, so.”

Placated at that, Robert lets it go. “While we’re telling each other stuff…” he starts awkwardly.

“Go on.”

“I gave Rebecca £100,000 for the baby. It was that day we were planning to leave for Dublin – I handed her this cheque and a photo of my dad. Something of mine for the kid to have, I guess.”

“I knew about the money,” Aaron says, surprising him. “Vic,” he adds in explanation. “The photo though – like I said before, you did care. That’s no bad thing; but I couldn’t let you leave your child behind for me. I wouldn’t have been able to live with that.”

“Yeah, well. She gave the money back when the truth came out. Had to, didn’t she. I know I was in a bad way at the time but I’m glad, you know? I’m glad the baby wasn’t mine. I was more upset that I’d spent all that time getting my head around being a dad, and lost you in the process…and it was all a lie.” Robert stops for a minute, takes in Aaron’s kind, open and loving face. “That was so not the way I wanted to have a child.”

Aaron thinks over the words, remembering an earlier conversation when everything was still fragile, when he was still numb after too many shocks. “Maybe one day we’ll have a family of our own…” A part of him had wondered whether Robert had just been using that to avoid taking responsibility for the baby. “So you…you want to have kids?”

“One day,” Robert replies without hesitation. “With you, if you wanted the same. If you didn’t, then I can more than live without them.”

It’s overwhelming, hearing that. He’s never really thought about taking that step before. “I…” As he trails off, Robert reaches out to smooth a hand over his cheek.

“Sorry, that was too much for today. You don’t have to say anything.”

“No, it’s fine. I mean, we can talk some more about it. Once we’re sorted properly. I just never thought it was an option for me, that’s all. It took me until I was about eighteen to even understand what love is.”

Robert can’t find words for that. So instead he leans in to press a kiss to the man’s forehead. Aaron closes his eyes, savours it. “I missed that,” he admits, voice quiet.

“Missed what?”

“You, kissing me there. Makes me feel safe.”

“Yeah?” The older man smiles, kisses him again in exactly the same spot. It makes Aaron chuckle, and the sound of it gives Robert as much joy as it always did.

“Come home,” Aaron suddenly blurts out. 

Robert hears it but he has to be sure. “Say that again.”

“I love you, Robert. I want you to come home. Move back in.”

He’s about to check again, to ask if Aaron is really ready, but the look on his face stops him. He knows certainty when he sees it. “Yeah,” he tells him happily. “Yes please,” he adds with a laugh. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out Aaron’s wedding ring. 

“You kept it?” Aaron’s breath is shaky as he looks at it.

“I always carry it with me. Couldn’t let it go.”

“Give it here, then. Put it on for me.” He holds out his hand and Robert slides the ring back where it belongs. Back home.

They’re sitting close together, arms tight around each other when a thought occurs to Robert sometime later. “Oh, will Liv be alright with all this? Where is she anyway?”

“She’s shopping with Gabby. And she’ll be over the moon. She kept saying if she had to look at my lovesick face one more day she was going to drag you here herself and, well. I don’t know what she had in mind. Cold curry again, maybe?”

Robert raises an eyebrow. “Lovesick, eh?”

Aaron can feel his face going red. “Exaggerating, obviously.”

“Obviously. I love you, too, by the way.” He kisses him, one quick peck that melts into a second, slow and lingering embrace. Just as it’s getting heated, Robert pulls back. “You sure? We don’t have to do anything.”

“Just come here, will you? In fact,” Aaron stands from the sofa and takes his hand, pulls him to his feet. “Come upstairs.” Robert grins, following him towards the spiral staircase. 

He gives him another kiss before they make their way up, just as Liv walks in. “Aaron, are you—oh!” Her mouth curls into an amused smile as she spots her brother kissing Robert. “Well it’s about time! At least I can cancel that booking with Jeremy Kyle now. Right, I’m going to the café because I don’t need to hear anything you’re getting up to. See ya!”

As she disappears again, the two men are laughing. Then, just as Robert has reclaimed Aaron’s hand to lead him to the bedroom, he stops in his tracks. “She wasn’t serious about Jeremy Kyle, was she?”


End file.
